I’m taking part in Mamakat’s Writer’s Workshop this week…
My prompt?
3.) I know my kids really love me because…
I know my kids really love me because – I seem to be all they want and need in the world. Quite frankly, I am overwhelmed by their love, adoration and need to be with me. I am the one they want to get them dressed, make them oatmeal, pour their milk, give them a bath, read them a story, buckle their carseats, kiss their boo-boos, hold them tight.
Sometimes I wonder why they are so incredibly demanding and clingy with me. Why don’t they want my husband to do these things? When I’m not around, he obviously does all of these things and more.
I worry that because the twins were stripped away from me at such a young age (I had a hospital stay when they were 1 month old) that it affected our bonding, creating profound insecurities in them. But it’s not just the twins, it’s Sofia too.
Every morning, I go to work and every morning it’s a scene of utter chaos as I try to leave. At best, they have to go through the ritual of each person getting a high five, fist bump, a hug and a kiss on the mouth (sometimes 2 or 3 times) until I literally have to catapult myself out the door as they wave to me from the front window. At worst, they all become unglued at the same time, screaming how they need this or that before I leave, cry and cling and tug and hold on to me for dear life and make me feel so loved, I start to fall apart.
I worry that because I have to work, it’s creating this vicious cycle of them becoming more and more needy. I worry about the ramifications for their present and future emotional well being. But then, I worry about most things, whether it’s warranted or not.
I try to remember how lucky I am. How I should savor every moment of them fighting over who will sit on my lap (fortunately for them, it’s a big lap), because in a few short years, there will be less interest in snuggling or affection. There will come a time when I am not the most important person in their lives and that time will come more quickly than I could ever dream.
This is what unconditional love looks like. I sometimes feel suffocated by it, but it’s all I ever wanted in life.
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