I’m fighting a cold and remembering my father today. It’s 3 yrs today since we lost him and because of that, Father’s Day will always be a bit weird for me.
My brother could not get a hold of him on Father’s Day (he was supposed to come to a celebration later that day) and it quickly became clear something was wrong. He drove over to his house and basically found him dead. He had been dead for probably a few days. Heart attack. It was pretty horrific and intense at the time. Lots of would of, could of, should of, what if, etc.
I was told by a friend (a kooky friend, but a friend nontheless) that while getting a psychic reading (shortly after his death) a person named “Dave” came through and wanted to say hello. He was playing a guitar. He was in a happier place. I try to hold on to that. I also had a dream shortly after he passed where we were in the garage of the house I grew up in and he was showing me a lightbulb (the kind that hangs from the ceiling and you pull a chord to light) and explaining that this was how he can come through from “the other side.” That would be so like my dad to try and explain the hereafter in some convulted scientific way. It was one of those things, like, was it a dream? I don’t even know, but I tell ya, I won’t ever look at lightbulbs the same anymore. 🙂
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(This was written for the memorial booklet. I found out 2 days before the memorial that I was pregnant (unbeknownst with twins.)
My father was the living incarnation of a renaissance man in every respect. From his days as a merchant seaman traveling the world, to his tenure as an art student, teacher and National Endowment of the Arts recipient at De Young museum, to his years as a proud civil service employee for the City of San Francisco, there are very few people who have lived through so many life experiences in one lifetime as my father. He was taken away from this world in a most unexpected and heartbreaking way. It becomes clearer and clearer with every passing day that the world will never be the same without his unique presence.
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Looking back at these photos, I can see why he was such a ladies man. A cross between Dustin Hoffman and Robert De Niro, he never lacked in the female companion department. I hated it growing up, the changing girlfriends, the instability and desparately wanting a “normal” paternal figure. I now realize how incredibly lucky I was to have had the father I did.
Out and about with one of his *lady friends*
Here he is with his long term girlfriend, Sherry Bronstein. She was 19, he was 35. Uh-huh, that’s right. The age thing was a source of much drama and contention within the family, letmetellya.
They were together for about 5 years and came very close to getting married. I thought she hung the moon at the time. She was there when I got my first period, introduced me to Judy Blume, took me to movies, explained the facts of life. Unfortunately, the rest of my family was not as fond of Sherry. I realize now how her age probably wasn’t the primary issue keeping my family from accepting her. It was downright anti-semiticism. I don’t judge my family, they came from another world, another time. I didn’t understand it at the time, but see it so clearly now. I also can see, looking back on these photos how very much in love they were.
Here he is holding court with his *groovy* friends at Ocean Beach, circa 1970ish.
Him walking me down the aisle at my wedding. This was a very big deal with him, to be at this event, put on a tux, have to interact and seem normal. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
A sketch of his (Ocean Beach, San Francisco) that was put on the back of the Memorial booklet
Wherever you are, I know you are playing your guitar and laughing at all the shit my kids are giving me, probably writing a song or poem about it.
We miss you, Grandpa Dave. ♥
Beautiful. I am sorry for your loss but how wonderful that you have those "groovy" photos. To have lived happily back then with a guitar and true love, albeit a bit Romeo and Juliet-esque…what a life.
You're right, you're super lucky to have had him as your father! Sounds like a very interesting man. 🙂 Love the photos. 🙂