My Online Buddies

5.) That one time you met your online friend in real life (was it everything you thought it would be?)

From 2004-2010, I had been an active member of an online community, specializing in the fertility awareness method of getting pregnant. Many of you know the community I speak of, but since I don’t go there anymore and didn’t like the way they treated many long time, veteran members, I will not give them any publicity (as if writing on my blog is publicity, but YKWIM).

In any case, during the first 2 years of my membership, I been through a lot in that time (or so I thought) – 2 miscarriages and the birth of my daughter. I had a core group of women that were part of a large buddy group for women who were 30+ trying to get pregnant but had suffered miscarriages.We had been there for each other, every single day of our journey, even when many of our ‘in real life” friends and families had pulled away because they either didn’t understand or it made them uncomfortable or they didn’t think it was any big deal.

We even had the honor of having a parenting magazine article about pregnancy loss written about our little buddy group.

In October of 2004, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I got to meet many of these women for the first time in Las Vegas.

Prior to getting married, I had dated online quiet a bit. It was always nerve wracking meeting someone you’d gotten close to who you now needed to sit face to face with you in 3 dimension. This was no different. But within 2 minutes of meeting the first woman, I was completely at ease. We had a million things to talk about and more. There were 7 of us that met for the trip and we had such a fun time. I was severely nauseous in early pregnancy, but thankfully, I was so busy and having so much fun, I didn’t care. These women were everything I expected them to be and a million times more! Smart, funny, real and most importantly, going through the exact same thing I was.

Over the years, I had the pleasure of meeting up with them several more times, in different configurations: San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco and at Disneyland.

We aren’t a uniform group of friends as we once were. Many of us had children, some of us struggled with infertility and miscarriage. Some of us went on to have 2 or 3 children and disappeared under the radar. Some got divorced. It seemed we went in different directions, had less time to share every waking minute talking to each other online and sort of drifted apart. It was sad, but a natural progression.

Over the years, there have been controversies, with feelings hurt, bridges burned. Friendships have fizzled out.  But many have remained and I am forever thankful for that. My in real life friends scoff at my “online friends,” but quite frankly, I’m so thankful that I had them for critical support during those very challenging times.

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This was written as part of MamKat’s Losin It Writer’s Workshop. Check out the weekly writing prompts and join in!