Follow up to Speech IEP

Just to follow up on Will’s IEP for speech…

They did a full psychological Eval based on his prior head injury…Long story short he came back as advanced in many areas, def. ready for Kindergarten. They were surprised he’s not in preschool (Kudos to Steve on that for his “home schooling”) and of course, their main preschool teacher, Sprout.

They were not able to use my video language samples for a variety of BS reasons. They did acknowledge he has a stutter, but they could not grade his samples, used the ones he gave at the meetings (where he barely spoke). He scored above average on so many other developmental tests that I’m sure that came into play. They want to reassess in a few months and they said they would definitely see where he’s at in the fall and more than likely, provide services in kindergarten. They said that for now, since he’s unaware of his stutter, not to try and draw attention or correct it.

I wasn’t super surprised. I’m semi irritated that they could not use the video clips, but she did say I can certainly send more as time goes on.

The speech therapist kind of bugged me. The plan is to plan a meeting in a few months to go over strategies within the home. Whenever I hear that phrase, it definitely pushes my buttons. I get ultra defensive, but it’s a sore spot for me. Overall, I think she was implying that he is competing to talk and this causes the stutter. she suggested that the family reinforce that everyone gets a turn to talk (insert sacharine preschool teacher voice here).

I have a problem with this implication for a few reasons. A) This girl is all of about 27 and probably doesn’t have any kids, let alone 3 small kids and while she may have worked with kids, I can guarantee she’s never experienced the level of competition that exists for my attention in her life, nor will she ever (if she’s lucky). Will has been stuttering since he was 2 years old. He does it when he’s excited, when he’s calm, when he’s alone or with many others. Of course he competes to talk. My house is like a 3 ring circus most of the time. *I* compete to talk in my house. And maybe it makes the stutter worse. But it’s not the cause of the stutter.

Of course, in the back of my mind, I know they have both seen all of the medical reports and all the awful stuff that is in there from that time, so that colors my defensiveness, if you will.

The psychologist was nice and I think she “got it.” Stay tuned…

The Luck of the…Italian ?

So thinks are semi ok. I mean, not really, but we’re just cruising along on fumes, as per the “new normal.”

In these highly charged, political times, I keep hearing about the disappearing middle class and it’s like “Yeah, hello!? Right here?!” It irritates me to see both parties use the plight of hard working Americans as stump fodder. At least on the right, I see a lot pandering but little political will to actually come up with solutions. Now that it’s politically convenient for them, the right are all over the “long term unemployed” problem. What.a.joke.

But I digress…

I do have some good news!

A few weeks ago, I heard about Van Halen touring with David Lee Roth. There was a time when I was an avid concert-goer, but the combination of 3 kids and skyrocketing tickets prices kind of put the kibosh on all of that. One band I never say, in its heyday, was Van Halen. I had VH scrawled all over my pee-chee in high school, but was never fortunate enough to see them in concert. I thought to myself “The only way I’ll be going to that concert is to win tickets…”

On the way to work a few days later, one of the local stations was giving away tickets. I needed to be caller 101. Lo and behold… I was caller number 101!! I was in shock. I had to pull over as I was afraid I’d a) get in an accident or b) drop the call!

This past weekend, I watched the Superbowl, with the rest of the world. I had entered into an office pool with the chance to win $50, $75 $150 or $200 for the final score.

 Guess who who won $200 for the final score?!?! MOI!

I had pretty much given up and wasn’t even paying attention at that point (was bathing children). About 10 minutes after the game, I picked up the pool sheet and noticed that I’d won!!

I’d say it was time I bought some lotto tickets…Ya think?

In other fun news, to make a very long story short, I’ve been working on some geneology for my father’s Italian side. It’s been fascinating.

Armed with access to my friend’s ancestry.com account and a few bits and pieces, I was able to put together most of my father’s, grandfather’s and great grandfather’s family on the paternal side. They came from Italy at the turn of the century, most of them barely 21 and settled just outside ofSan Francisco. They worked in horticulture and the trades and built a life for themselves. Most of them lived amongst the Irish population, hence my own Half/Half heritage.

In all of this, I discovered I have cousins who live 10 minutes away. I knew they were there and I knew generally that we were related, but I put the pieces together. Our great grandfathers were brothers. We come from the Tuscany region (I knew that).

We’re going to have a mini reunion of sorts soon. Although I guess you can’t call it a reunion if we’ve never met…In any case, it’s been personally fulfilling to discover all of this. You just never know where life is going to take you.

 In other news…Will’s speech IEP is next week. The clip I created a few weeks ago wasn’t adequate. They needed at least 150 words of him speaking, not a bunch of clips as I presented. Getting this from him was like pulling teeth as he clams up as soon he senses I’m filming him. I did get a 7 minute clip, but it wasn’t the best, it was what I could get from him within the time constraints.

We shall see where it goes from here.

Speech Assessment for Stutter: Thoughts & Opinons Welcome

As I’ve mentioned a few times, my 4.5 year old Will has had a speech assessment before, at 26 months, but was barely talking and was found to have a moderate delay at that time. Not enough to qualify for any services. Due to his head injury in infancy, we were told to watch for any developmental issues. The only thing that has presented itself has been the stutter. It’s been consistent since he was about 2.5 years old. It has not improved, it’s just the way he speaks.

I’m now going through the process of having a speech evaluation for the stutter, within our school district. At my job within a neighboring school district, I work in close proximity to our Special Ed department, so I’m somewhat familiar with the process.

Of course, Will is painfully shy. When I asked his preschool teacher last year about the stutter, she admitted that he doesn’t speak much, at least not enough for her ever to hear the stutter. Many people have wondered what I’m talking about as they don’t hear it. He has to be very comfortable for his natural speech pattern to emerge. Otherwise, he is just incredibly quiet.

He is 100% unaware of the stutter. My concern is that once he starts kindergarten, that will change. He’s very sensitive and quiet as it is. Any negative attention drawn to the stutter could cause him to withdraw more.

We began the assessment with a psychological/developmental evaluation. He aced it and may, in fact, be semi advanced in gross motor skills. He certainly knows all his letters, counts to 30, everything he needs to know to start kindergarten in the fall. The psychologist mentioned that his history looks “A Lot Scarier on Paper.” You got that right, sister.

The next day, we met with the speech therapist for her assessment. In the end, she was not able to get a sample of his speech patterns as he barely said anything, completely clammed up, which I suspected might happen. Will clammed up, gave one word answers, shrugged and nodded. A lot. He can take a loooooooooong time to warm up to people and he wasn’t exactly warming up to the ST. In fact, at one point, she asked “What is your favorite food?” and his answer was “I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” Alrighty then!

I did show the ST a video so she could see I wasn’t completely crazy. She asked if I had more videos, I told her yes. Oh yes. Many. I have been videotaping him over the past month as I suspected it would come to this.

So, this is the little montage I came up with that shows him stuttering in his conversational speech. It happens when he’s alone, with other kids, excited, relaxed, tired, etc. There is no rhyme or reason to when it happens, but there are certain patterns of how it presents itself. I sent this to the ST and meet with her again next week.

Thoughts and opinons welcome.

Mr. Glass Half Full — The Kitten Herder

I had several people ask me about that last post and what my husband was doing during the day.

I did start thinking about it and was like, WTF? How did *I* get to be the one to bring home the bacon and fry it up in the f’ing pan?

I have myself to blame for a lot of it. I am a control freak. I don’t trust that he will do things the way I would, so I just take over. It’s an issue.

That said, yes, he could have got his ass out of bed when my daughter hit her finger.

I won’t argue that he can do more (grocery shopping, folding and putting away laundry *properly and timely*), but as far as what he does do on a normal day – he herds the kittens during the day, does laundry and light cleaning (very light), does drop off and pick up, breakfast, lunch and often dinner and basically makes sure everyone is in one piece when I get home. This is no small feat, especially the boys with scooter accidents and all sorts of shenanigans.

Also, the speech therapist was impressed that Will was *so* kindergarten ready, but wasn’t attending preschool. She asked who had been working with him and I had to give it up to my husband, ’cause it certainly hasn’t been me. I didn’t feel the need to mention that Sprout TV can also take a lot of credit for his mad kindergarten readiness.

My husband is far from perfect, something I have detailed ad nauseum over the past 5 years (5 years!!!!!) in this blog. However, I don’t know too many men who would be able to (almost) singlehandedly care for newborn, one month old twins (and an almost 2 yr old) at the drop of a hat, take care of everything on minimal sleep, with his wife seriously ill in the hospital and still remain positive. (Sidenote – My boss has a 3 week old newborn and he and his wife are completely overwhelmed. They have a live in grandma. I do have to resist the urge to say ‘You have no idea what overwhelmed means’ *insert evil laugh*)

The husband and I have a lot of heavy shit going on right now, and he is almost always Mr. Glass Half Full. There is something to be said for that, especially since I’m Miss Glass Half Empty most of the time. Oh man, if I was with someone more like myself, I’d be a walking basket case most of the time.

So as hard as my life is most of the time, I am thankful that I don’t have to do laundry. Or clean the toilet. Or mop the floor. Or do the dishes. Or prepare too many meals at night. Gives me more times to spend with the kids. And watching Bravo TV, of course.

And regarding that top photo – only my husband would be stupid brave enough to bring 3 little kids to a beach. Alone.

A Day in The Life: Speech Assessment, Smashed Finger & Video Editing

A day in your life…recap.

Yesterday was a fairly representative reflection of a typical day for me.

I woke up at 5:30. Hit the snooze alarm 3 times to get up at just before 6 a.m.

Hopped in shower. By 6:15, all three children were awake.

Made my daughter lunch for school, put her uniform out so she could dress herself (a new phenomenon. She can dress herself every other day, but on school days, she becomes completely incapable of the most basic functions).

Made all three children breakfast. Just before I was about to leave for work, the children starting fighting over I’m not even sure what. Sofia stormed into the bathroom (where I was attempting to curl my hair) and slammed the pocket door HARD on her finger. Hysterics ensued.

She was crying pretty hard, so I knew that it hurt. I promptly got her an ice pack and set her up watching The Brady Bunch in my bed (next to my half asleep husband) and left for work. I had many pangs of guilt as I left, questioning whether I should take her to the doctor…

Once I arrive at work at 7:30 a.m., was caught up in the drama of the workplace that is a Unified School District Office in California. Budget cuts are no the horizon and it’s about to get ‘really real‘ down in the ole DO. Every man for himself…

The School Board is being wanting to not shoulder all of the public discord for these decisions, so has asked all department heads and Administrators to give a list of reductions, based on a dollar amount given to them. These decisions are based on existing monies and projections, so every department head and Administrator wants to meet with the person who creates the budget, my boss (who is already cranky from having a 2 week old baby and post partum wife at home).

By 9 a.m., I had worked with the Director of Personnel’s Assistant and scheduled about 6 or 7 meetings for him over the course of the next few days. By 10 a.m., I was ready for a break.

I spent the rest of the day playing catch up, writing letters to successful and unsuccessful bidders on an RFP we sent out recently (request for proposal), did some accounting work and tried to stay out of the drama that is always lingering in this place.

As my son Will had his first speech evaluation in the afternoon, I left at 12:30 p.m. to pick him up and take him to the appointment.

The appointment didn’t go so well. Will clammed up, gave one word answers, shrugged and nodded. A lot. I suspected that this would be a challenge as his stutter only comes out when he’s engaged in conversation. He can take a loooooooooong time to warm up to people and he wasn’t exactly warming up to the ST. In fact, at one point, she asked “What is your favorite food?” and his answer was “I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” Alrighty then!

I did show the ST a video so she could see I wasn’t completely crazy. She asked if I had more videos, I told her yes. Oh yes. Many. I have been videotaping him over the past month as I suspected it would come to this.

In the middle of the speech appointment, my phone rings. I would normally ignore it, but recognizing it as local, I excuse myself from the room. Will looks panic stricken that I am leaving him, as I promised I would not.

Well, it’s Sofia’s school. The Secretary is telling me that Sofia’s finger is really swollen and black and blue. Ugh. They recommend I have it “looked at.” MOTHER OF THE YEAR MOMENT.

After the speech appointment, I call Sofia’s primary care physician, but the “advice nurse” doesn’t recommend me coming in. Still, with her school suggesting she be seen, I decided I would take her in just because.

Of course, once I see Sofia and that, despite the appearance of her finger, she is perfectly fine, I wonder why I am driving 45 minutes to San Francisco to have them tell me that she’s fine.

We go. They tell me she is probably fine. Beautiful. They can do an xray, but would want to wait for the swelling to go down.

Lovely. By this time, Sofia is back to teasing, accosting and just generally messing with her brothers in the car, so yeahhhhhhhhhhhh. Such a waste of gas and a co-pay.

We arrive home around 6 p.m. and everyone is starving. I make dinner, and then get them in the bath. They are in bed around 8:30-9, which is on the late side for them.

Once they are in bed, I start working on my videos of Will’s speech to send to the ST. I create a video montage of him stuttering that takes hours to upload to Youtube due to my JACKED up network connection.

I watch 2 episodes of Alcatraz (love it) while uploading and finally go to bed around 2 a.m., knowing that I will have about 4 hours sleep.

And now…I am in desperate need of a nap!!

I’m back! Update on life

I have been the suckiest blogger the past six months for a combination of reasons.

I got a new smartphone (free, after writing a letter of complaint to Sprint) that I now use to surf the web and check email.

Our wireless hasn’t been working at home for a few months now, so having to sit tethered to a desk (when I do this all day at work) doesn’t hold much appeal to me.

Mostly, I haven’t had much to say that is vastly different from what I’ve said in the past. Things are not good, but I guess they could be worse. There is food on the table, there is electricity, there is gas in the car. The kids are happy.

Update on life?

Christmas break was up and down. I was off work for 2 weeks, this was good. It was nice to spend some real, unscheduled time with the kids on a daily basis. Granted, it wasn’t easy, but I feel lucky that I have a job where I’m able to take this kind of break.

The weather has been divine, that helped too. Cold nights and warm, spring like days. The kids spent every day outside, riding bikes or going to the park. I was able to catch up on sleep and recharge my battery a bit.

Sofia and Will both learned to ride their bikes with no training wheels. David learned as well, but he’s a little gun shy, so we put them back on for him.

We finally, finally, finally got all 3 kids sleeping in the same room!! After 4 years! I promised Sofia I’d get a bunk bed when she slept in the room with the boys, I had to follow through. I found a very inexpensive one from Walmart and it’s working out fine.

I had some wonderful family and friends help me out financially during the holidays, this was good. I have a lot to be thankful for, no question. Thanks for some incredibly generous friends, my children had a fabulous Christmas. They received razor scooters, trucks, dolls, arts and crafts and aforementioned bunk bed. Not too much, not too little, just the right amount.

Sofia continues to be a handful. I am beginning to think that things are never going to get easier with her, that her and I are headed into a very complicated, lifelong, mother-daughter dynamic. I adore her, but we butt heads constantly. It’s Taurus vs. Taurus.

Financially, things are about the same. My second job hasn’t needed me since early December, so the past 6 weeks have been difficult – to say the least. I do struggle to get by and quite frankly, not sure how we would have gotten through the holidays were it not for the help of friends. It gets old getting by on fumes, let me tell you. I finally came clean to my sister in law about our situation as I was tired of pretending that all was well. She was surprisingly understanding about it. At least to my face.

We’re looking into filing bankruptcy$ and this is scary new territory for me. It’s all in the midst of being figured out. I’m trying to be positive about the future, realizing it could be so much worse. One day at a time.

She Thinks She’s at NY Fashion Week

And here is Sofia at the recent fundraising fashion show at her school.

She’s the third girl, wearing black and white, hands on hips, attitude galore.

Yeah, she’s SIX. I am so, so, so very screwed.

Why do I have a feeling I’m going to see this footage on her E! True Hollywood Story someday?

Normal and Blessed, And I Don’t Use That World Lightly

I haven’t written in such a long time.

This has been a long month, financially, for us. I get paid once a month and with 5 weeks in this month…let’s just say it’s been quite painful.

I’ve managed to keep food on the table and gas in the cars, but I’ve had to skirt around for other things. It’s been anxiety inducing, but it is what it is.

There have been some good things happening and some not so great things, but nothing I can’t handle.

The not good stuff first:

Well, obviously the financial stress.

There has been some physical stuff as well.

I have had near constant sciatica pain for the last 6 weeks or so. To make a loooong story short, I did finally ask my doctor to find out what was going on. It was discovered that I have degenerative disc disease and arthritis in my back. Awesome!! Just what someone with 3 small kids wants to hear!!

My doctor referred to it as “wear and tear arthritis.” I prefer to call it “Sofia, Will & David Arthritis.” Seriously, the physical stress on my body of having 3 kids in 2 years, with 13 lbs of baby in there with the twins, plus gaining a bunch of weight on top of that? And then bending and twisting and lifting the kids improperly from being out of shape? Yeah….My core is shot, therefore my back is fried.

So.

The goal now is to GET HEALTHY. My doctor has me set up for physical therapy and I’m going to go (I’ve been before and the free massage was worth it) but know deep down that the only thing that is going to help this is for me to a) lose weight and b) get physically strong.

As of Sunday, I have not had coffee. Anyone who knows me or even reads this blog with any regularity, knows how ridiculously monumental this is for me. The only time in my life I have skipped coffee has been during pregnancy. Let’s be honest, I’m a 2 latte a day girl (when I had money), drink it at night, anytime, anywhere, everywhere.

Sunday, I had a raging headache. Monday, a little headache. Tuesday, I started to feel a lot better and ever day, I’ve felt a little better. Now, I feel pretty damn good. I’ve been drinking tea and look forward to it.

Might I also mention I started back on Zoloft as I felt that I need to be at my most stable to deal with a lot of the stuff that’s going on in the moment.

But back to feeling good. It has been a loooooooooong time since I have felt light in mood, etc. I’m kind of liking it!! I even went for a walk the other day.

My sciatica still hurts like hell, but advil and my heating pad are my friend. And this will improve in time, as I lose weight.

Now, the good news!!

My doctor has been bugging me forever to get blood work done. I’m convinced that she is convinced that I have many health issues related to “morbid obesity.” I mean, my back is jacked up, my blood pressure is high, it would make sense.

So, I finally broke down and did the full metabolic bloodwork with fasting.

And guess what? It all came back normal. Glucose normal. Cholesterol normal. All of it.

Go figure.

Check that one off the list. Mammogram is next for after the new year.

The other incredibly wonderful thing that happened…

I have a group of friends I met online in 2004. I have written about them before, we were a buddy group for women who were in there 30’s TTC their first child. We have seen each other through marriage, divorce, multiple pregnancies, miscarriages, infertility, illnesses, you name it. While we may not communicate every day, we’re still pretty active through Facebook and some of them read this blog (hi girls!).

Well, they took it upon themselves to get together and purchase a VISA gift card for me and my family. I almost fainted when I opened the Priority Mail envelope because

a) I was not expecting it

b) was relieved it wasn’t a notice someone was suing me and

c) The amount was so generous and more than enough money to make sure my family has a fabulous Christmas.

There were tears. At that moment, I felt like Jimmy Stewart at the end of “It’s A Wonderful Life.” I honestly felt like the richest mom in town.

It was such an emotional moment for me, I can’t even begin to put it into words. I feel so blessed that someone, anyone, would go to such lengths for me and my family. Beyond touched. Just beyond.

So there you go. I’m starting to feel good, looking forward to Christmas and not dreading it. My kids are even starting to drive me crazy slightly less. Well, most of the time. But that is another post!!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season and thanks for hanging in here with the missing blogger.

An Update on the Boys

I would like to thank those of you who have reached out after that last post. Honestly, I am not trying to freak anyone out. I appreciate all your kind words and support, it means a lot. Y’all know who you are.

Because I was rather negative in that post, this post is going to be a positive one.

The boys are thriving. They are attending catechism and a weekly kindergarten readiness playgroup. They think this is “real” school and take great pride in getting their backpacks ready, doing their “homework,” etc. I just know they are going to love, love, love kindergarten.

Will is still writing in mirror image, but we’re keeping an eye on it. They are both learning their letters and also letter combinations at an exciting pace.

They’ve started roughhousing, which I don’t love, but accept as part of being a mom to boys. Other things we accept as a mom to boys? Talk of penises, the consistently faint smell of urine in their room, sticky hands and faces and going through socks at a breakneck speed.

They are at a truly wonderful age. That fine line between big boys and babies. They are starting to look more and more like big boys, but their voices still carry that baby lispy talk. They don’t rebuff my kisses and hugs. They still think I’m the coolest person on the planet. The other day, at dawn, Will saw the full moon out the window and started asking me questions about the moon, its origin, distance, etc.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

I just realized I never posted any Halloween photos. I mean, of the actual day of Halloween. I have been remiss!

Here’s some cute shots of my boys. God, I adore them. Click on the image to see larger…

Calling Tween Years, I Would Like My 6 Year Old Back

Sofia thinks she is a cast member of Shake it Up.  Haven’t seen this gem? It’s a show on the Disney channel all about the misdaventures and hijinks 2 eighth grade girls who are cast members of a dance show, Shake it Up Chicago. It’s like the Disney version of Laverne and Shirley, I guess you could say. There is dating, boys, fashion and ridiculous clothes. Sofia loves it, natch.

While it’s relatively innocent, the themes are too mature for her, so I repeatedly remove it from the DVR. Somehow, it always makes it back on there.

The result? She now thinks *she* is a 13 year old Disney channel star. For reals.

This photo was taken at the mall this week. We were at a fitting for the upcoming school big deal fundraiser fashion show. She’ll be walking with about 10 other 1st and 2nd grade girls. Their segment? Interpretation of a “modern day princess.”

Most of the girls version of this involved a sparkly, sequinny holiday dress.

Sofia’s version? Below.

For the show, the boots and hat will be gone, replaced by black tights and sparkly black shoes, some kid appropriate accessories, jewelry from Clare’s, hat, etc.

It is parochial school, after all and last time I checked, Sofia won’t be 14 until 2019.